#2 – GinDrunk

As fascinating as GinDrunk on Premise Guy surely was, the thrilling sequel: Premise Guy on GinDrunk is sure to please. While Premise Guy often struggles to form sentences as his mind drifts to protein shakes and creatine, his counterpart is an accomplished writer, philosopher, and cocktail connoisseur.

Premise Guy: I know you’re active in some online communities or forums, namely SomethingAwful. Tell me about that.

GinDrunk: Yeah, I’m a goon. I joined the Something Awful forums summer before college started (2003) and have been wasting hours upon hours on it ever since. I do frequent the General Philosophy discussion, though, so that helps starve off the brain damage I get from reading GBS, TCC, etc.

Premise Guy: Maybe a little acronym explanation for our readers?

 

GinDrunk: FINE.

GinDrunk: GBS, “General Bullshit,” is where silly, Asperger’s goons go to make threads about recent news developments and their favorite flavor of Mountain Dew. TCC, “The Crackhead Clubhouse,” is where people go and talk about drugs in a civilized, but ultimately even more pointless manner. I met my real life friend Lot through a TCC.

Premise Guy: How did you become “real life” friends with someone from an online forum?

 

GinDrunk: Goons, being the insular type by and large, only allow themselves to meet up with other goons if they’re feeling the slightest ping of sociability. Bored and friendless, I decided to attend one of these “goon meets,” where I found a bunch of skittish and uncouth individuals sipping on Vodka drinks and watching the “cult” classic, Killer Condom. Lot was the only one there that was actually sociable and intelligent so I contacted him afterwards.

Premise Guy: Ok, next question: tell me about what being bisexual means to you. Do you define yourself by it, in part, or primarily by something else?

GinDrunk: My bisexuality is something I’m struggling with constantly. The term itself is something I try to avoid using…perhaps because so many negative qualities are attributed to it in its popular conception, much more so than anything positive.

Premise Guy: Negative attributes? Hm, well the first thing that comes to mind for me is the LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) common at women’s colleges. Basically, that bisexuality is something like a phase and not to be taken seriously. As for bi men, it’s just not something often encountered in media or popular culture. I guess a name like Magic Johnson comes to mind, but that just carries with it notions of “sex-starved” individuals. Am I close to the mark?

GinDrunk:  It’s funny that you bring up Magic Johnson, since he isn’t (as far as I know) attracted to men. But he does have a disease (AIDS) that many people blame bisexual men for “carrying over” to heterosexual populations from their sexual activities with homosexual partners. That’s the extent of popular, heterosexual association with bi men (that they are Typhoid Mary’s for STDs) and it’s a horrible stigma. The phase thing, believe it or not, is more of a stereotype perpetuated by biphobic homosexual from my understanding. Maybe because a lot of gay guys went through phases of “confusion” in their youth and conflate what they experienced with the bisexual condition. Or maybe they’re just closet bisexuals, I dunno.

Premise Guy: Good points, I pretty much assumed Johnson was bi – Wikipedia confirms there were “suspicions” of being bisexual. Obviously the stigma your refer to is pretty common as even someone like me made the same connection.

Premise Guy: You identified “biphobic homosexuals” in your response. Obviously I know you pretty well so I know this is not the case, but the Woody Allen quote: “doubling your chance of a date on a Saturday night” does come to mind. From what you’re telling me, this seems way wrong as instead of being “welcomed” for lack of a better word, bisexuals like yourself are often rejected from both worlds.

GinDrunk: It certainly feels that way to some of us – some, though, are content with “passing” and I imagine they switch back in forth between the straight and gay scene fairly easily. I don’t know, I’m not one of them I’ve come to realize – I think I’m looking of acknowledgment of what I am rather than just getting sex from people that just assume I’m like them (straight or gay).

Premise Guy: I like that term “passing.” It’s obvious that doing so is not some happy-go-lucky who-shall-I-be-this-week kind of lifestyle.

Premise Guy: Shifting gears a little, I know you’re an aspiring TV writer. Tell me about what you’ve written so far.

GinDrunk: Well, I’ve written a few “spec scripts”, which are scripts written in the style and world of existing shows. People write these so to give agents, managers, anyone interested in evaluating their grasp of the craft as sense of how they can write in “someone else’s voice.” Every year, there is what is called a “hot” spec, which is a TV show thateveryone (aspiring writers, writers looking for new work, etc.) wants to write a speculative script for: the hot spec this year is Breaking Bad.

Premise Guy: I know we’re both fans of the show, have you written a spec for Breaking Bad?

GinDrunk: Nah. Yes, I was exaggerating when I said “everyone” is writing one. Breaking Bad is one of those highly serialized shows that I don’t understand how anyone could write a spec for since so little time progresses between episodes (the character Skyler is pregnant for two entire seasons, that’s unprecedented in television). That and each episode is almost always chock for amazing writing, so if you’re writing a spec for it, you can’t let the quality ebb anywhere. That and the show has a very particular tone, which doesn’t allow for a lot of “experimentation” in its formula. I guess so many people are writing it because a) it got renewed for it’s third season, so the show’s a hit, and b) It’s one of the most critically acclaimed dramas on now. I would bet money, though, a lot of young writers aren’t happy when they realize how difficult this show is to spec.

Premise Guy: Gotcha. Ok, what HAVE you written then? “Pitch me” (is that the lingo?) on whatever you think is the best shit you’ve written. Do you think it will ultimately land you an agent and riches as a star writer, or will something else?

GinDrunk: Ugh, I hate the fucking lingo of Hollywood. I would say my “strongest sample,” the one with the “legs,” is a pilot for a one-hour drama tentatively called Out of Place. It is an ensemble (i.e. follows a bunch of characters versus one protagonist) show that follow five, guys and girls, students at the same liberal arts college, and who all happen to be bisexual. Each character is at a different stage with terms to how they deal with this fact: one is a total closet case, one learns he is one in the pilot episode, one is kinda deranged, one is trying to deny that aspect of herself, and one is totally at peace with it. Each character has to deal with his or her own set of problems and trials as a result of who they are and what other people think of them, which I feel is a universal experience for anyone who’s ever felt like a minority. The project’s something I’m really proud of, and desperately want to get made – it is my hope that it would turn a lot of heads and get people thinking about such a taboo issue. As for whether or not it will land me an agent, who knows. I love television and I love writing, but writing for television requires you to do a whole bunch of other industry stuff before you even get close to a Writers Room…it’s kinda ridiculous, really. I would be happy if got made and that was the only thing I ever did for television, as long as I could continue to write in some other medium, still “fighting the good fight.”

Premise Guy: Sounds good. Interview With A Nobody is the good fight as well amirite!

Premise Guy: Ok, final, seemingly random question: Have you ever been roofied?

GinDrunk: bahhahaha…yes, once I believe. Recently, I was at my favorite gin bar/lounge in West Los Angeles, just taking it slow. Which means I was just drinking some cheap beer from a glass. It was very crowded that night, so in order to not lose my seat at the bar, I left my drink in front of my stool, put a napkin on it (standard procedure) and went to the washroom. I get back after only five minutes, sat down, and drank deep from the glass. As I sat there, waiting for a refill, I remember I was thinking about True Blood and how much it sucks. All of a sudden, as if stirring from a dream, I found myself walking down Pico Boulevard, some 3 miles away from the bar and my car, at 5:00 in the morning.

Missing my cellphone.

That beer had only been my second of the night, so it’s impossible that I blacked out from the alcohol. I recall sitting next to a gorgeous woman at the bar that, too, was sipping on beer…so maybe our beers got switched and I ended up with the date rape drink intended for her? I dunno. I find it hard anyone would want to slip me some GHB or whatever.

On the Westside, at a lounge. But hey that’s LA for ya.