#3 – Dezbaa

Dezbaa is an old college buddy of the IWAN guys. She’s a colorful character (see photo) with a diverse background. Currently residing in Cambridge MA, Dezbaa is in her late 20’s and a Nationally Certified Massage Therapist.

Dezbaa: I’m naked is that ok?

Interview With A Nobody: …yes, that’s fine.

Dezbaa: Good! Let’s get this started, I’m getting cold.

IWAN: ha, ok: It’s our understanding that you’ve got quite the “exotic” background, ethnicity-wise. Tell us about your family history.

Dezbaa: My dad is Navajo and my mom is Mexican; she became a naturalized citizen when she was 19. My great grandfather was Spaniard-blue eyes blond hair and light skin. That’s why I’m also fair-skinned though my parents are dark. I consider myself Hispanic but I identify on paper and in general as Native American.

IWAN: Wait, you’re Native American and Native Mexican?

Dezbaa: I guess. I had an anthropology major friend tell me that I had Aztec features (as opposed to Mayan, he said). My mom looks more Mexican Indian than what most people think of when they idealize Mexicans. That great grandfather I mentioned married a short dark skinned beauty. They had kids with green eyes and very dark skin. Or so the story goes.

IWAN: You made the distinction between considering yourself Hispanic and identifying formally as Native American – why do you do that? Is it an issue of pride or a cultural statement?

Dezbaa: I think it started when I was a kid and something that made logical sense to me-and still does otherwise I wouldn’t do it. I grew up in a Hispanic environment. Describing the difference between Hispanic and Mexican especially in the place where I grew up-in Northern New Mexico is a whole other story in itself. I know a little bit of Spanish and danced Mexican Folk dances. I grew up eating Mexican food. I didn’t grow up being Native. My dad was adopted by a white family when he was three and basically raised “white”-never raised on a reservation. So to even things out, I identify as Native American. I’m still in the process of trying to explore that part of myself.

IWAN: Sounds like a lifelong process. Still, it must be kind of amazing to come from such a diverse lineage (compared to say, us white slices).

Dezbaa: I enjoy the mix. It’s like I have three cultures. The family that raised my dad was originally from Texas, so he grew up loving fried chicken and biscuits. My mom’s dad rebelled against his religious parents so I’d say we’re a pretty open minded bunch.

IWAN: Jumping forward from how your parents and childhood experiences sculpted you, where would you say you are at these days? What are your immediate goals?

Dezbaa: Oh geez! Where am I? I’m sitting on the floor in my room in my underwear (just put em on). There are clothes, books, and papers everywhere. The bed is unmade. This morning I woke up to the smell of hamburger and onions from last night’s dinner that I was too lazy to take downstairs to the kitchen. But, I know where most things are: the important things. I feel, and I’ve told people this before, it’s kind of an analogy to my life at this point.

IWAN: So your life smells like onions and is spread out all over the floor?

Dezbaa: Yes, my life is ONIONS! There are many layers!! ::face palm:: I am one semester away from my bachelor’s (THANK GOD!). Then my big plan is to get a job that pays decent money. Pay off loans. Save up some money to invest in more massage schooling-specifically prenatal and infant massage-Hawaiian Lomi Lomi. Continue to educate myself in the holistic field, become a certified Montessori Teacher. Have a kid or two hopefully by 35 and MAYBE get married. I plan to move to Hawaii at some point too. That’s a big life goal.

IWAN: Whoa, whoa, slow down. First of all, what is your bachelor’s in, and why do you say you’re “finally” getting it?

Dezbaa: I started out at Amherst College in Fall 2000. I should have graduated May ‘04. Nearly ten years later after I started-I’ll be receiving a bachelors in Geology.

IWAN: Was this extended undergraduate experience intentional, or did you have to take time off for a drunken disorderly?

Dezbaa: Nope. At least not by me. Hahaha – I wish it were because of that. Nope, something more serious: I had a nervous breakdown a couple of weeks before classes ended Spring ’01-I left for a year and a half. In that time I went home to New Mexico and became certified in Massage Therapy at a local college.

IWAN: That’s intense – is your breakdown something you’d be comfortable with discussing?

Dezbaa: Sure.

IWAN: There’s usually a trigger or inciting incident for those episodes: what were the circumstances?

Dezbaa: I (stupidly) kept a relationship with a younger guy back home that was still in high school. I got to college, felt badly about myself etc. and cheated on him. Told him and then it became a back and forth battle of hurting each other. Only now have I realized that my emotions run so deep that I find it hard to preserve myself. I act out-like adult tantrums. I get very sad-ok let’s just call it depressed. And so in the Spring when I found that he’d been at some girls house. The pressure of being away from home, the pressure of trying to fit in amongst all these raging intellectuals and feeling unloved took its toll. I took a handful of ibuprofen. I just wanted out and to be away from the school so much. I think I ultimately wanted a way for me not to be in so much emotional pain.

IWAN: Sorry to hear that, sounds really rough. But clearly you’ve bounced back from all that.

Dezbaa: Yep, it’s been a slow ass process, but I’ve seen the changes I’ve made over the years. I feel like the Incredible Hulk sometimes. Just need to learn to guard against feeling so much.

IWAN: How does your work in massage therapy relate to all this?

Dezbaa: It keeps me from wallowing in self pity. I don’t focus on myself and I can focus on other people. I have a “calling” for helping others. I feel better about myself when I can be of service. A lot of the times I talk about myself. It’s not because I think I’m so majorly important. I just get “tired’ of myself and I’m trying to figure out how to make me be less stupid or annoying, etc. But sometimes it’s not worth it to keep analyzing. It’s best just to get over oneself and just DO. Massage helps me do that. I love to make people feel special and important. That’s what I WANT for myself for ME to feel special and important so I think I try to make sure I satisfied that need I think people want. Cause it’s true. I love to love people.

IWAN: Well, it’s safe to say massage is bigger than a skill set or a job for you! Where are you at with your massage studies currently?

Dezbaa: Well I need to study more. I have the GIST of the work. I have the touch and ability but really massage needs education. I don’t remember all the names of the muscles where they attach-what’s the origin and insertion points. I can’t give you a reason why your gall bladder meridian is all messed up and the ins and outs of the lymph system I kind of forget. But I’ve studied over a thousand hours, which includes both classroom and hands on work. I have a license in New York State and here in Massachusetts. I can pretty much get a license anywhere in the United States now because I’m Nationally Certified as a Massage Therapist.

IWAN: Congrats!

Dezbaa: Aw thanks!

IWAN: Will this be your career then? And if so, then why are you still going to for you BA?

Dezbaa: I’m still a little confused about that. Massage Therapy is who I AM. I CAN make a career out of it. It’s something I love to do, but I also need money. So I’ll try to find something that will give me more financial stability and do massage on the side until or if I decide I can/want to do massage full time. As for the BA, massage therapy is also a physical endeavor that involves my hands which can easily be injured from over use or in an accident. If I cant do massage anymore then what will I do without a degree? Also, like I said, financial stability, I think that it’ll help me at least apply for those jobs out of reach due to the requirement of a degree. I know that’s not necessarily how life goes. I think we all know that. Degree != job/career . But I’m also covering my bases. With the degree I can possibly get paid more when I become a Montessori Teacher (after I get certified).

IWAN: And what’s a Montessori Teacher for those in the peanut gallery?

Dezbaa: Maria Montessori is an Italian Doctor who developed a way of teaching children by not trying to control the child but the environment instead. This in turn helps to enhance or demonstrate/develop the child’s natural abilities and confidence. She studied children early on and how they naturally taught themselves about their world. Based on those observations she increased their capabilities where others thought children were not as capable as they’d previously thought. Kind of abstract. [read more about the school here]

IWAN: But fascinating nevertheless.

Dezbaa: Yeah. For instance, children naturally love to scribble. Creating curly cues on paper. Well instead of teaching children to PRINT. She taught children to write in cursive first, utilizing their natural abilities.

IWAN: Huh. Are Montessori schools fairly common? Can our readers find their local one online?

Dezbaa: Yep, they vary a little at each school. There are different associations that might emphasize different parts of her teachings but I think they generally try to uphold what she stood for.

IWAN: Have you taught or interned at one of these schools yet?

Dezbaa: No, that’s part of the program: you go to school and learn the fundamentals. demonstrate ability and then itern where you get observed.

IWAN: Definitely sounds rigorous to say the least.

Dezbaa: Yeah, my mom went through the program when I was around four years old. So I had a vague idea then because I was her guinea pig. But, she’s also taught me through out the years.

Dezbaa: The program she went through she had to create her own materials. And create binder after binder (2″) of the coursework she’d done and studied. materials being counting beads and word boxes (for phonetic sounding purposes…pictures of words)

IWAN: Again, very professional it seems.

Dezbaa: Yep.

IWAN: Speaking of professional, we gotta ask: Has one of your clients/patients ever…propositioned you?

Dezbaa: No thank GOD! (Well I mean friends have jokingly mentioned stuff but I lay down the law!!) But i did have a really sketchy old man be really creepy when i was in school.

I worked on him at the $5 donation clinic at the school on a weds or thursday. He said that he wanted me to work on him AGAIN on a saturday. I told him that that would be fine, figured that the practice would be good. I had a trailer at my church that they let me use to work on people.

But i told him that I couldnt work after 5pm and to call me earlier in the day if he still wanted it. Well he called me at like 5pm leaving me a message that he’d been outside working all day and was really tired and would like a massage at HIS place. I didnt return his call that weekend but when i went to school to get the advice of my teacher. I decided to call him back up and say that I just didnt feel comfortable working with him and that he can find work with someone else. I havent had any problems with anyone since then.

IWAN: Yeah, definitely a sketchy situation.

Dezbaa: I was proud of myself at 19 sticking up for myself against this older man. I know i’m cute, but DAMN don’t try to take advantage.

IWAN: Well, thank you for sharing all of your experiences with us! If anyone in Massachusetts is looking for a killer massage session from a spunky girl, where should they look?

Dezbaa: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brookline-MA/50-Professional-Massage/98476679122?ref=nf. It’ll look more legitimate soon enough.

IWAN: Got a knot in your back, Cambridge boy? You know where to go.