#1 – Premise Guy

Being adorably narcissistic young adults, our first step in this venture was obviously to interview eachother. So, without further ado: GinDrunk on Premise Guy (no homo).

GinDrunk: Question #1: Everyone’s bitching about his and hers quarter-life crisis…where are you at in life right now?

Premise Guy: I’m in the planning to plan stage of starting my own business. I spent a year working/trying to work in finance and it was pretty miserable. So even though I’m not doing much of anything I’m still pretty happy with the way things are going.

GinDrunk: Happy? Are you serious? I’d be fucking depressed if I didn’t have direction (which I don’t).

Premise Guy: Sure, I’m getting back into shape, eating healthier, and sleeping more. The weather is nice these days. I suppose if was doing the same things with my time 6 months from now I’d be a little upset, but for now I feel ok.

GinDrunk: How are you supporting yourself in your casual approach to life at the moment?

Premise Guy: I have about 6 months living expenses in cash between my bank account and online poker bankroll. I play poker a couple hours of day, but the income isn’t what it used to be. I also have some stock market investments that I might dip into.

GinDrunk: You play online poker…and make money? Ain’t that some shit.

Premise Guy: Yea, I started playing my freshman year of college. Making money back then was ridiculously easy; I ended up taking a year off from school and was able to pay tuition, travel, and support myself for several years.

GinDrunk: Damn. I drank a lot in college and read some philosophy, both of which ended up costing me. What’s happened to the scene since?

Premise Guy: The US government’s legislation made it a lot harder to send cash to and from online casinos so that prevented a lot of casual players from accessing the games. More than anything however has just been the gradual improvement of the player pool. 5 years ago your average college kid thought poker was a fun gambling game. Now, ask your random soccer mom and she probably recognizes it takes a lot of skill and practice to succeed, she might have even heard of some professional players. 100’s of books have been published, and probably a dozen online training websites are currently operating. Getting good at the game is very easy with the tools available to someone who’s dedicated.

GinDrunk: There has certainly been an increase in exposure, yeah. How many professional online poker players are there out there would you say?

Premise Guy: The number using poker as their sole income probably peaked a year or two ago. Maybe ten thousand? Fewer and fewer people do it exclusively now from what I can tell. There isn’t the same money to be made. I think a lot of marginal winners (like me) might still be hanging on, but definitely trying to pursue other options.

GinDrunk: End of an era, you’d say?

Premise Guy: Yes definitely. I bet online poker continues to grow, but the games going forward will continue to get tougher. Although if the US market was opened again, or if countries like China suddenly liberalized there would of course be a blip. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the online poker sites start competing on lower rake though. That is one aspect of the game that certainly has not fallen off. These companies are making hundreds of millions of dollars a year. It’s an incredible business for the dominant players.

GinDrunk: Now have you ever wowed anyone with your knowledge and experience as a professional poker player? Must be a good party/mixer topic…

Premise Guy: It used to blow some people away; definitely something I would volunteer from time to time. Had to be balanced with the inevitable poker bad beat story the other individual had to tell me though. It was very useful in interviews for finance jobs-I received two offers before I graduated and I think both were heavily influenced by my experience with poker. Nowadays it’s not quite as outlandish, but people do generally think it’s cool. Or at least they tell me it is. I’m sure there are some that look down upon the whole thing.

GinDrunk: Give us an anecdote, prick

Premise Guy: Well one time about 6 months after I started playing seriously I lost $2k in about 48hrs straight. That was about 30% of my bankroll at the time. It was pretty trying. The lowest lows were the months of breakeven play, not knowing if I still “had it”. A high point was probably getting second in a $100 rebuy tournament. I made $6k that day. That was a really good summer overall.

GinDrunk: Christ, $6K in a day.

GinDrunk: So switching gears, Question #2: What was the last great film you say?

Premise Guy: welll, the Hangover was pretty fucking sweet. Knowing you, that is an unsatisfactory answer.

GinDrunk: Yes, and I’m sure our two readers want to know why you thought it was great.

Premise Guy: Uh, here’s one. I saw No End in Sight a few months ago. Pretty depressing shit. Honestly, I think the best media I’ve watched in the last couple years has been television. The Wire, Breaking Bad, and 30 Rock are all incredible.

GinDrunk: Huh, what would you say makes them so good, compared to say movies these days? Their production value has definitely increased across the board…

Premise Guy: That’s true, but it’s really across the board improvements. I don’t think anyone really thought of television as “art”-except maybe you my dear friend-10 years ago whereas film was taught in every college. Watching a show like the Breaking Bad or The Wire closely makes you appreciate the effort that went into it-and how incredibly well they’re executed. The writing is more than just a good story; plots unfold over an entire year complete with subtexts, metaphor, even allegory (like the 3rd season of the Wire).

GinDrunk: I’m going to agree, my dear friend!!! Question #3: What is your take on the female psyche (generalizations welcome!)?

Premise Guy: I don’t think it’s a whole lot different from guys. If I was speaking in generalities I’d probably say stereotypical things. Is there something more specific I should speak to?

GinDrunk: Sure, let’s hear your stereotyping. Based on your past experiences.

Premise Guy: Well, I’ve met some crazies in my day. I’d say they’re more neurotic on balance? Definitely more dependent on companionship. The girls I’ve dated have had pretty good heads on their shoulders…at least WHILE I was dating them.

GinDrunk: I’ve met some of them…and you’re being very generous about their mental stability….what is the perfect woman for the Doodle?

Premise Guy: Maybe I’ve found her? I think describing the ideal person by their qualities beyond the most obvious is futile.

GinDrunk: You’re such a gentleman and douchebag. ANYWAY, Question #4: Please give your case for the greatest of the 40 oz. malt liquor.

Premise Guy: It’s OE 800 obviously. Alcohols per $ is highest while still maintaining that oh so crisp finish and heavenly body. Also, who the fuck would drink malt liquor from a green bottle?

GinDrunk: Would you say one needs to develop a “taste” for Old English?

Premise Guy: Well it tastes amazing, thats pretty much fact. I suppose the virgin palate might need a few nights in its company, maybe with a few slices of pizza, to come to terms with it however. If you don’t love it by then you’re doing it wrong.

GinDrunk: Would you say there are parts to a forty?

Premise Guy: I would say there are. First you have the top conical portion or the “tits” if you will. Then comes the “body” all the way down to just below the label. From there to the finish is what we like to call “the endzone.” The first endzone is often a harsh couple swallows, but the second 40 it’s oh so sweet nectar.

GinDrunk: Sweet nectar indeed.

GinDrunk: And finally, Question #5: What would you say is your PASSION in life?

Premise Guy: Oh that’s easy, explosiveness, being explosive, possessing explosivity. Mainly just exploding all over the place. All the time.

GinDrunk: …can you explain what the hell you mean like that for our readers?

Premise Guy: I didn’t coin the phrase, but I suppose it fits. I love being strong and fit. It makes me feel good, but I’m NOT A MEATHEAD GINDRUNK.

GinDrunk: OKAY PREMISE GUY. What’s your preferred method of becoming “explosive”?

Premise Guy: The crossfit protocol works for me. That’s my business idea; I’d like to open a crossfit affiliate gym and train people, hopefully someday grow the business so I’m just in a managerial role and eventually retire a rich man. www.crossfit.com for those interested in learning more.

GinDrunk: Sounds like a cult. But good luck regardless on your small business and hopefully well get to hear more about your exciting life soon, DEAR FRIEND.

Premise Guy hopes to be as badass as this guy. Thanks for tuning in folks!